THE MILD WILD ONE

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Cops have a serious and dangerous job. Top cops have a lot of responsibility, a lot of things to worry about. They also have to project an image of gravity, competence and professionalism. But they are human beings like all the rest of us.

When you get to know them, you find out all kinds of unexpected things. Their personalities find expression in their hobbies, in a sense of humor, in some extracurricular activity. I know a Sheriff, a very religious man, who learned to fly a plane so he could do missionary work in remote places.

Colonel Culhane -- now known as "Mr. Ed," as you will recall -- has always been known as a highly respected and accomplished police officer and public servant.

Ah, but he can also be described as a wild and crazy guy. He has a motorcycle that he loves to ride in his off hours.

In this poem, Mr. Ed is linked to Malcolm Forbes, who was one of the richest men in the world but very down to earth in his way. Mr. Forbes was a biker, too, and liked to get together with people from all walks of life who shared his passion.


ON WHEELS

Hey. Why the applause? Why the shouts of acclaim?
It's a guy on a chopper. Can you tell me his name?
How 'bout that big bike? It's so hot it's infernal.
And who's on its back? Why, that Rhode Island Colonel.

It's the genuine thing. It's no fiction or story.
It's the man on his bike. It's the man in his glory.
See him roar down the highway with a grin ear to ear
As he shifts that big bike up the next highest gear.

No, you can't slow him down; ain't no way to detain
That fanatical biker called "Hot Wheels" Culhane.
Can he go any faster? Can he rev it up higher?
"Sure can", I told Guinness -- and they called me a liar.

So, you'll see him show up at a rally or race,
Where the man fits right in, in no way out of place.
There goes our man out in all kinds of weathers.
He's the happiest guy in his helmet and leathers.

Yes, it's hard to explain to you how great it feels
To be racing along on a pair of hot wheels.
But, there's nothing quite like it; no, nothing comes near
That feeling of fun and of freedom -- and fear.

Well, now I've described him and you know what he's like,
At least when he's out on the road on his bike.
At work, he's restrained, his repute is a mild one.
But out on the highway, he's a bona fide Wild One.

Malcolm Forbes was a man who had all you could want.
He lived in a castle; had plenty to flaunt.
'Cept his bike, all his treasures he'd gladly have ditched;
'Cause when riding the roads -- ah, then he felt rich.

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